Psycho
by Shadow Storyteller
Summary: 30 one-shots from a fanfic challenge on livejournal. All of them will be focused on Gon and Killua, and the prompts involve some type of psychological term. Contains some Gon/Killua, but the rating will stay T.
1. Skinner Box

**So I made the New Year's resolution to do a fan fic challenge. Now it's March. Better late than never.**

**The one-shots will focus on Gon and Killua, not _specifically_ Gon/Killua. I'll be trying to get different takes on the relationship as well as their personalities in general, so expect more friendship bordering on the edge as opposed to outright romance (though it will be there).**

**All prompts will be taken from the Psychological Fanfic Challenge on livejournal, so you can guess most of these won't exactly be rainbows and unicorns, but they won't be outright angst either. Any warnings such as spoilers and the place the story is in canon will be mentioned to avoid any misunderstandings. ****Spoilers will be marked for anything passed the Greed Island arc. Please keep this in mind for future stories.**

**I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.  
Things to know: Set in different points of the canon universe  
**

**Skinner Box**  
_**A cage designed for animals in operant conditioning experiments. This was developed by B. F. Skinner, considered to be the father of behavioral therapy. He once stated that with the ability to control a child's environment, he could raise a child to become anything he wanted.**_

* * *

No "pure" food. Everything is to have at least two milligrams of poison added, but never use the same poison twice in the same week. He should be able to handle three grams of any deadly or paralytic poison by his first birthday and triple that by his second. Any liquids are to be spiked as well, even Kikyo's milk.

When he's older, his food should stretch across classes and cultures of every kind, swaying from one extreme to the next. Give him the finest cuisine in Azine followed by the cheapest slop in Yorbian, randomly dosing them with tasteless poison. If he ever hesitates, have needles standing by with double the amount of poison in the food to jab into his arm for punishment, just under the dosage needed to kill him. There should at least be enough to make the experience painful.

The only food that won't be poisoned is what he can sneak passed without anyone knowing. If he goes into the kitchen, don't let him see the workers add the dose. Food can be left untouched if he manages to keep them under surveillance. He needs to be taught to be suspicious of everything given to him.

* * *

Killua barely reacts when Gon enters the hotel room, mind completely focused on the game in front of him (one more level till the boss). When half a bar of chocolate is waved in front of his face, it's impossible for it not to capture his attention. It's not so much that he really wants the chocolate but that the light shining from his game keeps bouncing off the wrapper and practically blinding him each time Gon's hand shifts even the slightest millimeter. His character's dead within seconds.

"Do you want the rest?"

Killua considers Gon's carefree smile. There is no proof the food is safe. He has neither seen Gon purchase or eat it, and there were endless opportunities he had to alter it on the way from the store to the hotel. The sheer amount of drugs needed to incapacitate Killua isn't as hard to get as some people would like to think (for a Pro Hunter at least), but the thought never crosses Killua's mind. He shoves the whole thing in his mouth without an ounce of hesitation, muttering a thank you as Gon takes the seat next to him.

* * *

Electrocution every day: 100 watts for ten continuous minutes. He should be flinching every time the lights turn on during the first few days. Once the nervous tick disappears, double the time to twenty. Gradually increase the time by ten minutes each week until the battery becomes exhausted from overuse. After that, focus on the amount of watts. Double the intensity every week whether the nervous tick is gone or not.

Give him opportunities to run once in awhile, but don't make it obvious. Only let him go if he can escape using his own skill; never go easy on him. It's okay to injure him, but it can't interfere with his other training. If you do catch him, it's another twenty minutes. By the time he's five, we want him to never recoil from any kind of shock. Be it from small sting of static on his fingers or a 1,000,000 watts, nothing should faze him. Anything that does should be avoided at all costs.

* * *

It's around the fifth month mark of knowing _Nen_ that Killua first feels the side-effect. If he had to describe it, he'd say it was tingling sensation, but he still isn't sure if it can be called painful. After a few more incidences where he uses his electricity technique, the feeling graduates to a shock, ripping through his body and setting every nerve on high alert for the next wave of static every time his Nen brushes someones else's. What's even weirder is that it actually stings him enough to get a reaction, falling soundly into the painful category.

On a not completely separate note, Gon becomes very confused when Killua starts flinching the slightest bit each time their hands brush as they walk, never feeling the same sensation of being tasered like Killua. He watches Killua's hand move, almost like he's going to take Gon's hand, before falling back to his side. Gon holds out his hand for Killua to take. It's a simple invitation his friend can easily refuse, so he has no idea why Killua recoils so sharply when he accepts it. His hand stays in Gon's, though, for the rest of the way home.

* * *

Never give him a hug. If you do, make sure to hurt him at the same time. There's no reason for a kiss of any kind, even if you're checking for a fever. There are thermometers. The most his family can do is tell him they love him while watching him spasm through the poison, and even then they must make sure their voices doesn't have too much warmth. Illumi already shows problems with this, but his wrapped way of thinking seems to be okay. In fact, it looks to be speeding up the process nicely. If things continue this way, it shouldn't be too hard to convince him to insert one of his needles. Just a small one as a safety net.

Take any opportunity to mislead him. Betray his trust until he stops telling you secrets. To put it bluntly, no affection in any shape or form. He should depend on no one but himself. Relationships that involve trust and affection should be the farthest thing from his mind.

* * *

Waking up with his head nestled into Gon's shoulder should have surprised Killua more than it does, but then he's a little more preoccupied with his completely numb arm pinned beneath his friend. The safe feeling in his gut is a bit concerning too, but that's a thought for a later, more reasonable time like noon.

Yesterday had been one insane chase, Killua eating Gon's dirt as he ran from one end of York Shin to the other in an effort to see it all before they got down to business. Killua hadn't known where they were half the time, relying on Gon to lead the way, but he'd had the sinking suspicion Gon had been lost about fifty percent of the time. He followed anyway. It wasn't like Gon is some idiot that would lead them into an alleyway to be attacked. He knew Gon knew what he was doing...to some extent.

By the time they got back to the hotel, both had flopped onto the nearest bed without a second thought. They'd been on completely different sides of the bed and facing a different way. How the hell they'd managed to end up as tangled as they were was beyond the half-wake Killua, but he wasn't complaining. It was actually comfortable in it's own strange way. Warm enough that he easily fell back into his peaceful asleep at least.

* * *

Killua shows signs of resisting training, but it's nothing that can't be stomped out.

* * *

It took no time for Gon to tear down every lesson Killua had been taught and turn it on its head.


	2. Daddy Issues

******Thanks to those who favored/followed/reviewed! I appreciate them all.  
**

**Things to know: Some implied Gon/Killua. Small spoilers if you don't know what happens in chapter 338.  
****Disclaimer: The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.  
**

**Daddy Issues (Slang Term for Electra complex)  
_In psychoanalysis, a daughter's unconscious libidinal desire for her father.  
_This story will obviously not be using the literal definition. **

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Ging doesn't hate his son. In fact some people— if they didn't mind being punched in the face— would say the Pro Hunter _likes_ spending time with him. Those braver (and stupider) would even dare say that he _regretted_ leaving Gon with Mito.

Of course the fact of the matter was and still is that Ging has never had any idea how to care for a kid, nor did he have any desire to learn. Nothing personal, it's just that "kids" and "freedom" aren't exactly synonyms. Sure, maybe he could have figured it out. Maybe his parental instincts would've kicked in, but after that damn wolf almost ate Gon again, Mito seemed like the best option. Unlike Ging, she could raise Gon, let him live a normal life, make sure he didn't get eaten…the works.

Yeah, okay. He admits it. Ging had known the kid was going to want to find him one day, had the feeling deep down in his gut Gon was going to want to see him, so he prepared accordingly. The Hunter sure as hell didn't want some pansy-assed kid comin' to see him. If Gon couldn't get passed a few challenges then he obviously didn't want to see Ging _that_ bad.

Some would say he crossed the line into bastard territory when he told that convict Razor to kill his son with a dodgeball if the situation presented itself, but so what if Gon had some expectations to meet before he saw Ging? No harm came from it! Gon had found him and has even managed to exceeded Ging's expectations since then (not that Ging'll ever tell him that). It all worked out, and Ging kinda loves his son now that he's gotten to know him (even if his hair looks ridiculous).

Still, there were a few of Gon's more annoying quirks that…well, they grated on Ging's nerves like nobody's business.

Like who the hell wears shorts that short? He's sixteen now! Sixteen year-old guys should not have shorts above their fingertips. Hell, the waist is hiked up over his belly button, and the bright-green color is about as obnoxiously bright as his attitude. He's just so damn happy _all the time_! It's genuine, too! No one is that authentically cheerful without some kind of mental problem!

(...Come to think of it, there was that one time…but Ging doesn't think he dropped him _that_ hard…)

Anyway, that wasn't the worst of it. Nope. Ging can stand that his son is some kind of perky grasshopper with the hair of a porcupine. No, it's that one friend...what was his name? It's the silver-haired Zoldyck kid with the creepy sibling. Leorio was the doctor who socked him in the jaw, so not him. Ugh, what was his name? It started with a "k."

Ka… Kur… Ki…Kill …Killua! Yeah, _him_! He can't stand the little brat. Ging's met Killua all of one time, but he's already had it up to_ here_ with the kid.

It probably hadn't helped his impression of the kid was already a bit bias before he met him though. You see, every time Gon would tag along with Ging somewhere, the kid always called the Zoldyck at _least _once every two months, and they talked _forever_! Even on the way to met Killua (Ging had gotten dragged along), almost the whole blimp ride to York New was one continuous call consisting of Gon gabbing away about what he did here-and-there and how so-and-so's doing, laughing the whole time with this goddamn _smile_ on his face that was way too happy. Ging didn't care how long the two hadn't seen each other: you don't grin like a fool for hours after you get off the phone with your best friend.

It was at that point Ging had considered pulling another disappearing act, but his curiously got the better of him. He wanted to meet this Killua kid after hearing his son gush about him for the last few years.

He still regretted not running when he had the chance.

Seriously, the two had met eyes and— boom!— tension. Ging had to excuse himself from the table after the first ten horribly suffocating minutes of lunch. Gon looked like he wanted to say something, protest his dad leaving, but had Killua quickly recaptured his attention with barely any effort and Gon had smiled that damn smile again!_  
_

What really pissed Ging off about the whole thing, though, was that it hadn't been the hostile tension of regret or the crushing weight of awkwardness like Ging expected. Oh no. It was the kind of tension Ging did _not_ want his son having with his male best friend, let alone a Zoldyck. It was the kind of tension Ging wanted with the cute blonde sitting at the table next to them.

He'd went outside and leaned heavily against the building, watching his son through the shaded windows. That little…thing…Alluka was happily munching on cookies, completely oblivious to the borderline flirting going on right beside…it. Ging felt his hate becoming deeper and deeper the longer he looked at Killua's smug little face. Who did he—

…Whoa. No. No, no, no! Ging is not an overprotective dad. Nope. He's just worries about his son like any good— but he's not a good father, dammit! He's Ging Freecs! Ging Freecs does _not_ get overprotective! Or hide outside!

Back straight with his infamous confidence, Ging had strutted back inside, winking at that blonde for a good measure. She'd flipped him off before returning to her meal. Killua had snickered.

Thirty uncomfortable minutes full of way too friendly smiles later , Gon and Killua were finally parting ways much to Ging's relief. His feelings were one-sided though. Even Alluka had been sad, looking up at Gon with wide, begging eyes that rivaled his own puppy dog eyes. "We can see you again soon, right?"

That was when it got weird. The two teens had exchanged looks as they explained the situation to Alluka, a million plans made and discarded in single minute of silent communication through their eyes and gestures. There were twinges of expression in their mouths and around their eyes, zooming back and forth with such brisk understanding even Ging couldn't keep up with what was being "said" between the two. It was kinda creepy actually.

Then there'd been the moping…or lack there of. They'd parted ways with chipper good-byes and those happy little smiles in place that made Ging want to puke, and as soon as Gon turned his back, this expression of pain just flashed across his face like he'd been punched in the stomach. He'd seemed deflated the rest of the day. Ging had to hold back the urge to whack him.

...So yeah, Ging has the faint urge to smack Gon any time he does something annoying, but he _does_ love him. If he didn't, he wouldn't be standing in the middle of the damn snow on the edge of town waiting for Gon to show up. As much as he hates to admit it, he enjoys going on an adventure with Gon once in awhile.

But he swears to god he will never go anywhere with both him and that Killua kid.

_Finally!_ He almost yells in relief, ready to get a move on and get the feeling back in his toes when he sees Gon approaching. Then he hears laughter echoing, the happy quality making his mood sour even more. _Wait...two voices? _When Gon gets closer, Ging finally sees the other one, the two of them walking way too close for best friends.

_I'm out of here.  
_

* * *

**In the case of Alluka, I will refer to her as a girl in other stories if she shows up. This one uses 'it' only since it's Ging. ****I tried a bit of a different writing style to match his jerkiness. Let me know how I did please?  
**


	3. Addiction

**Disclaimer: ****Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users? **

**Things to know: Gon/Killua. Takes place the first day Gon and Killua are in Yorknew.**

**Addiction  
_A person who is addicted to a particular substance, typically an illegal drug  
_or  
**_**an enthusiastic devotee of a specified thing or activity.**_

* * *

Yorknew City. A magnificent metropolis that attracts thousands of people on a regular basis, let alone when its famous auction takes place. Fortunes are made (and lost) in a single day, and it offers artifacts of unimaginable beauty and origins all gathered in one place to be admired for ten stunning days. Who _wouldn't_ want to take a least one trip down to see it?

But that isn't all the city offers; it can't live off of its ten days of international fame alone. No, Yorknew has other attractions as well.

One library contains a copy of nearly every book ever written. Historical monuments that remember the suffering and courage of long-dead heroes are scattered around the city. The lush hotels on every street gives maximum comfort to the most weary traveler. Boutiques and clothing stores attract every self-proclaimed fashion enthusiast from around the world. Even the most common restaurant sells candies that melt on the customer's tongue, leaving them in a good mood for hours from the sheer warmth of the treat.

But out of all that, Killua chooses to visit the city's back alley casinos first. Go figure.

Killua dashes to one of the poker tables, a few of his tokens tumbling to the floor as he lets his pile spill out of his arms onto the table. He eagerly sits down at an open chair, the cocky smile on his face irking the other players. One man in particular, who seems to be at the edge of his rope judging by the desperate look in his eye, glares at him in a useless attempt at intimidation. Killua rolls his eyes, muffling a snicker when the man scowls. _This'll be fun._

Gon trails behind, picking up the stray tokens before coming to a rest behind Killua's chair in silent resignation. He watches along with Killua as the cards are dealt, both of them managing to catch the briefest glimpse of the suit and number before it reaches its target, and wonders how long it'll take before Killua's accused of cheating. _Again_.

For all his curiosity, Killua can tell Gon's not exactly thrilled to be in the casino. If anything Gon wanted to go check out the square where they were supposed to meet Leorio and Kurapika, but he made a promise to Killua that he could pick a place to visit before they went to find a hotel. And Killua will never pass up any opportunity to gamble if he can help it.

Money has nothing to do with it; his winnings might as well be dirt. It's more feeling Killua gets that's the real payoff. He likes the anxiety curling uncomfortably in his gut as he judges his chances and the anticipation rolling through his body when their cards are revealed. He likes being able to go against the voice whispering in head _that he can't be certain of his win the enemy is unknown just run away it's useless_

Basically, he loves the feeling of taking risks.

Killua also loves that here, in dinky old casino, he can find another small way of defying Illumi, of getting a small victory every time he takes one of his foolish chances. He doesn't have to be one hundred percent sure of himself. Errors are okay!

It's _amazing_ to be able to relax after years of mindless obeying and hours of having to be perfect. It's like a breath of fresh air to be here. (Well, figuratively speaking. He's still getting used to the body odor and smoke that always seems to hang around casinos. The guy beside him is a particularly potent mix of BO and beer.)

Then there's the side enjoyment of limits and the strange, thrilling feeling of not being in control of his feelings for a moment. How far he push them, and how far can he push himself? How many times he can crush them before someone snaps? How far before he himself gets angry? How much can he push the envelope until it breaks?

Apparently not long.

Twenty minutes and two fist fights later, Gon starts to consider the possibility that maybe they shouldn't have stopped at a casino, even if his friend insisted. He's starting to get worried. Killua's gotten a glaze over his eyes that reminds Gon of the relieved, half-drunk look of sailors that would sometimes stop at Whale Island.

They'd stumble into a bar after long months on the sea with that same gleam as Killua and come out completely and utterly gone. Stumbling around like newborn cows instead of the trained professions they were, imposing anyone unfortunate enough to pass them an outlandish story about a ten-foot fish that nearly sank the ship or challenging them to some ridiculous game. If they won, they'd just keep at it, boasting about their victory. If they lost and started a fight...more than one sailor would leave Whale Island with a black eye if they pissed off the wrong people.

Gon had _hated_ dealing with them. He'd had to find alternative ways to get them to leave Mito or his grandma alone since he couldn't beat them at their games when he was younger, which meant bribing them with food or whatever else he was carrying with him. When he got older, he just started helping the other locals hand out black eyes.

He really doesn't want to give Killua a black eye.

"Hey, Killua?" Gon gently puts his hand on the other's shoulder. After the fights, they relocated to a slot machine and Killua hasn't looked up once. "It's getting late, so why don't we—"

"One more time!" Killua insists, growling at the mismatched slots. All traces of his arrogant grin from poker are gone in his agitation, replaced with a scowl. "I got this. Just give it a sec."

...

It's another bust.

Killua slams his head into the machine, muttering threats into the slightly dented metal. The people occupying the seats next to him curiously look over, but they're quickly sucked back into their own, less-violent losses.

He savagely feeds the machine another coin; the lever groans pitifully under Killua's grip, nearly breaking off as he yanks it down. "Come on, come on…" Two cherries roll into place. He grips either side of the machine, nearly shaking it in anticipation. "Come on." He glares at the third slot in warning, demanding it to give him that last cherry he needs.

"…_Dammit_!"

Part of the metal frame breaks off in his palm.

"Kil-"

"I_ got_ this!" Another coin. "Just _one more time_, Gon," he insists, making a point to pull the abused lever with a much gentler this time.

Gon shakes his head. Words aren't working. At the rate Killua's going, they're going to be there all night! They need to meet their friends tomorrow! What he needs to do is figure out how to pry Killua away from that machine.

He starts forward, ready to simply pull Killua away from the machine, but he 's no way his friend'll come peacefully. Gon would basically have to wrestle him to the door, which will end up as an all-out fight. Knocking him out won't work either. As much faith as he has in his abilities, Gon's almost positive Killua would be able to block him. So what does that leave him with?

...A distraction? Some bribes? Those usually works with the drunken sailors back home.

"Hey, Killua? If we leave right now, I'll let you pick what we watch on TV tonight." Killua's eyes never leave the rotating slots. "We can eat chocolate for breakfast." He blinks. "And dinner." His ear twitches, but it's still not enough.

_Come on, what'll get him over the edge? Um..._

"I'll give you something _better_ than chocolate,"Gon coaxes, trying to tempt Killua's curiously enough to override his gambling problem.

It works well enough at first. Killua finally turns his eyes from the still-spinning machine, studying Gon carefully for hints of a lie. "What could be better than chocolate?"

Gon smiles, his mind racing. What can he give Killua that's better than chocolate? He's not really carrying anything of value, and he doesn't know his way around Yorknew well enough to think of a place that sells anything good. So he's got nothing. Perfect.

"You'll just have to come find out. And no," Gon adds, seeing Killua lose interest, "it can't wait until later. I doubt you've had it before anyway." He throws in a touch of puppy dog eyes to move things along. He's started to notice he can convince Killua to do nearly anything, especially if he throws stealthy puppy dog eyes into the mix.

The eyes pay off. Killua makes sure Gon hears his reluctant sigh as he gets up, shoving the handful of tokens and coins he has left in his pocket. "This better be good," he mutters, lingering for a moment at the beat-up slot machine before following his friend.

Gon silently leads the way, a small smile on his face at his victory. They can finally go find a place to rest for the night. Of course now he has to figure out something better than chocolate to please Killua. If he can't deliver on his promise… well, Killua will forgive him eventually.

They're out the door and into the fresh air. Killua takes the lead, getting a few steps ahead of Gon before he turns around, blocking his friend's way. "So...where _are_ we going?" he asks smartly, crossing arms with a particular air of smugness. He knows Gon's got nothing. He just wants to see what the other comes up with on the fly.

"Well, uh...it's a surprise! Yep, a surprise!" This'll give him more time! "In fact, it's such an awesome surprise I think we should wait until we meet up with Leorio and Kurapika. They'll be jealous!"Gon beams at Killua, some of his relief showing through.

_Bingo._ "Then I guess another hour here wouldn't hurt." Killua smirks, already reaching into his pocket for a coin as he starts back towards the building. That gleam is already springing back into his eyes, flashing dangerously in the dim streetlights.

Oh no! They are _not_ spending another minute or Jenny here!

Gon's brain kicks into overdrive as he steps forward to intercept Killua, blocking his path. Puppy dog eyes probably won't work now that he already used them a few moments ago, and Killua's curiously can no longer be appealed to. That leaves a distraction.

He needs something big. Something enormous. Something so unexpected and out in left field Killua will have to stop, rethink his mindset back to the situation, and completely forget about gambling. It always worked with the sailors! But what in the world can Gon do that's so earth-shatteringly bizarre? It's not like he can just bring out one of his odd-looking animal friends from Whale Island anymore! An attack won't work; Killua'd just dodge and weave around. Leaving him here would freak him out...but no. Gon's not abandoning his friend in a city neither of them are familiar with. What if they can't find each other later?

So what choice does that leave him with?

Gon stops thinking and goes to his instincts. When Killua makes a move to go around him, the other simple sidesteps into his way, putting his hands up to stop his friend. Killua tries to ignore the new obstacle in his path, but he only succeeds in tripping over Gon's feet as he's blocked again.

It becomes an awkward dance between the two, Killua constantly trying to move forward while Gon constantly finds new ways to position himself so Killua has to take a step back. For every one step onward, he takes two steps back, herded like some kind of sheep away from the casino. He'd be way angrier if Gon didn't have the uncanny ability to make it seem more like a game. There's still a little buzz of agitation every time he's cut off that's steadily rising to a grating level.

Killua takes an aggressive step to his right, trying to shove passed Gon, but all he manages is to nearly trip over him. And with Killua's face _thisclose_ to Gon's, Gon finally knows what'll completely throw Killua off. _It's brilliant!_

Of course, Gon is the only one that thinks kissing his friend is a good distraction. But come on! What other way would he completely throw Killua off his game? There's no way he saw that coming!

Gon waits for his friend to react, not too sure what to do now that he's reached this point. It doesn't feel bad or anything— he kinda wants to lean so it's a bit more comfortable— but Killua seems to be having a small fit.

He takes a step back to disconnect from Gon before freezing, tension showing all throughout his body. His hands rise up, stopping half way before dropping back to his sides. He tries closing his eyes so he doesn't have to look at Gon's completely unaffected stare (_Seriously, what the hell? Why doesn't he _do_ something?_), but that's even worse, so he opens them again and ends up in a staring contest with his friend, frozen.

_What do I do? _Killua thinks, near panicking. _What's the right way to react to this?_

His friend inadvertently solves the problem for him. Tired of being uncomfortable, Gon moves forward and unintentionally deepens the kiss, his lips fidgeting out of stiffness.

It's enough to snap Killua into action. He finally pulls away, looking everywhere but Gon. Gon, on the other hand, looks expectantly at Killua, noticing the small, predictable stain of red on his ears.

The taller lets out a harsh breath, seeming to gather himself before turning and walking aimlessly away from the casino.

"I'm not so sure that was better than chocolate," he tells Gon flippantly, but his whole tone is ruined by the unsteady note polluting his voice. It doesn't help Gon can still also see the red tinting the tips of his ears from behind.

"It was enough to get you to stop gambling," Gon points out teasingly, running up beside Killua. "And you were starting to—"

A stream of embarrassed stuttering fills the air to completely block out Gon's next words, a few death threats mixing in out of habit. It would've been just as effective— and childish— for Killua to stick his fingers in his ears and shout at the top of his lungs.

Killua cuts himself off and looks at Gon, giving him a half-hearted stink eye. "Just…never do that again…ever."

Gon sighs. "At least we'll be away from the casinos for awhile. Let's go find a place to stay."

* * *

When their aren't any casinos around, Killua has to find another way to get his "fix." It's not like they have the time or money to stop and gamble every night just for the sake of those wonderful sensations. Yeah, he can live without them, but if he has the opportunity to experience one of those feelings again, then he's going to take it. Even just one would suffice, and lucky for him he's staying with the perfect source.

Ever since Gon's little "distraction," something's been building in the pit of Killua's stomach anytime Gon gets just a little too close for comfort. He'd call it anxiety, but that word doesn't fit quite right; it implies something negative between them. It isn't a _bad_ feeling, just…odd. Jarring and unmanageable.

As much as he hates to admit it, he kinda likes not knowing exactly what the feeling is and the out of control feeling it brings. It's the perfect stand in.

It doesn't take much. Small touches, walking closer, sitting closer... anything toeing the line of too close gives him that feeling in his stomach. Not too much though. For the most part it's just enough so that it's a small burn in his side. So he starts waiting longer before moving his hand and walking closer so their shoulders touch to see if Gon notices, all the while feeling that burn spread out through his body. He wants to see how long he can get away with it before one of them reacts. He wants to see how much can he push the envelope until it breaks.

How long can he gamble until the other player snaps?

* * *

**Thanks to the people who left reviews/favored/alerted!**

**I got through the whole story without referring to anything as a drug or using the world _addiction_. I feel as though a small, personal battle has been won.**


	4. Halo Effect

**Disclaimer: Atheism is a non-prophet organization.  
****Things to know: Takes place during Hunter Exam, dialogue taken from Viz Media's translation.**

**Halo Effect**  
_**The tendency to assign positive traits to a person after observing one specific positive trait.  
**_**(This story ****uses the general idea of observing one trait and jumping to a conclusion)  
**

* * *

Gon's nose feels like it's going to fall off. The tunnel had already stunk of nervous sweat when they walked in, but now that the actual test is under way, the added element of running on top of everyone's combined body heat makes the air _reek_ like week old meat. Even when Gon starts breathing through his mouth out of exertion, he can taste the stench of perspiration in the air. Then there's also the scent of Leorio's cologne that stings the back of his throat and tongue with every inhale.

It's all a mild annoyance though, compared to all the side looks and chuckles he keeps receiving from the older examinees as they write him off.

The darkness doesn't really bother him. There's enough light that his sharp eyes can see clear as day. It's kinda boring though, running through a featureless tunnel of brick and tubes after facing down magical beasts and saving sailors from a storm. He thought the exam would be a bit more difficult, and so far this is just tedious.

His ears suddenly pick up a soft grating sound somewhere behind him, obnoxiously obvious among the heavy breathing and footfalls (at least to Gon). He's not exactly sure what it is, but it reminds him of the agitated snake that always hunts in the tall grass near the lake back home by the way it seems to hiss through the crowd, slowly gaining on him. It's going at least three times the pace Gon's set for himself, and whoever it is will pass him in the next few minutes at this rate.

Soon enough, a blur of white shoots passed him…on a _skateboard_! It's been forever since Gon's seen a skateboard! The little girl back at home had one once, but her mom threw it away after the girl rolled half way down a hill, wiped out on a rock, and broke her arm. Mito wouldn't let Gon have one after that, so he never did quite figure out how the thing exactly worked. He has no idea how this guy (_kid_, actually, now that Gon gets a better look) manages to stay up right, let alone weave so skillfully around the examinees.

"A skateboard?!" Leorio snaps, jabbing an angry finger at the kid. "That's _cheating_!"

The kid looks back at him curiously, magically steadying his speed just by shifting his body the slightest bit. "How so?"

Leorio's temper explodes. "How d'ya think?! He told us it's an endurance test!"

"No, _you_ said that," Gon butts in, trying to diffuse the situation. "He only said to follow."

"Hey! Whose side are you on?!"

"Yelling just wastes energy, Leorio," Kurapika lectures, sounding a lot like Mito, "and it irritates me. Don't forget we could bring whatever we wanted to the exam!"

"…" Leorio looks like he's going to explode, but he resigns himself to silence. Gon wonders how Kurapika does that strange scolding nag thing with his voice that always quiets the older man. He thought only mothers could do it, but the blond has it down to a T when it comes to Leorio.

The white haired boy casts an appraising look back at Gon, completely disregarding the fuming man beside him. It'd be disconcerting if there were any real emotion behind the look, like challenge or stress or even apathy, but there isn't even the smug confidence the other examinees have when they look at him. It's an empty look, but not _dead_ by any means. Subdued.

"Hey, you!" The boy swiftly drifts back to Gon (_How does that skateboard work? Does it have to do with shifting his weight?_) without breaking eye contact, ignoring Leorio's lingering glare. It's much easier for Gon to see how relaxed he is up close, how at home he is among the intimidating group and the darkness of the tunnel. "How old are you?"

"Almost twelve!" Gon reports proudly.

"Oh yeah?" Another one of those looks, but this time there's _something_—an emotion Gon can't quite pint down before the boy hides it back behind the emptiness. He feels curiosity grow in the pit of his stomach the longer they look at each other.

And suddenly the boy's foot is stomping hard on the front of his skateboard, flipping it out from under him in a beautiful arc as he jumps. There's a moment where he seems to hover in front of Gon, frozen, before catching the spinning board with practiced ease and landing nimbly on his feet in a run.

"Think I'll run for a bit," he offers, tucking the skateboard under his arm.

"Cool!" Gon nearly yells, quickly jogging up to match pace with the boy. His sudden spike of admiration for the boy shots through his body, sending his curiosity through the roof.

"I'm Killua." The boy—Killua says it nonchalantly, but the tone isn't unwelcoming. It's no invitation for friendship or an alliance, but gives just a moment of company on a quick jog down a long tunnel. He seems content for the moment being, and _something— _another emotion Gon just _can't figure out_— seems to tease Gon as it flutters quickly in Killua's eyes again, filling the emptiness if only for a moment.

And Gon knows right then this kid will definitely be his best friend.

"I'm Gon!"


	5. Transference

**Disclaimer: ****It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.  
Things to know: Small spoilers if you don't know what happens in chapter 338.**

**Transference**  
_**The process by which emotions and desires originally associated with one person, such as a parent or sibling, are unconsciously shifted to another person, especially to the analyst (therapist).**_

* * *

Killua grabs animal crackers without even thinking, habit involuntarily taking his body into the routine he's accustomed to when shopping. He barely even consults his mental shopping list anymore, trusting his body to take him where he needs to be while he devotes his attention to keeping Alluka from sneaking snacks.

"No, we aren't getting Sugar Drops," he sighs, deflecting her hand gently away from the basket. Alluka sniffles, using her doe eyes on full power, but her brother's grown immune in the months they've been traveling. What once took a simple look to achieve now takes several days of good behavior and a tear or two. Needless to say her goodies are usually denied.

Alluka crosses her arms and looks away, pouting, but she notices her brother grab the crackers. She's confused (she and Killua usually buy the ones with frosting and sprinkles or the ones coated in sugar when they're on sale) but stays silent.

_Maybe they're to replace the Sugar Drops?_ she thinks, brightening considerably.

Killua still doesn't notice his mistake until they reach the cashier, and even then it almost slips under the radar. It probably would've if the generic crackers didn't look so out of place among the weird, "fancy" food the Zoldyck siblings commonly eat, usually at Alluka's insistence. The girl checking them out—some bored teenager who talks to them like three year olds— even does a slight double take when she sees it among the caramel bananas and Padokian pork.

Killua looks up from counting his money, tensing at the sudden reaction from the cashier (_did they buy something weird does she recognize them are Alluka's eyes black__—)_ when his eyes land on the crackers. He freezes, muscles seizing like he's preparing for a punch to the face. His face flickers, pain and anger cycling around his eyes for the brief moment his composer falters.

"Brother—"

And just like that, it's gone, stored behind a wall of blue as Killua grabs the animal crackers and hands them to Alluka. "You didn't have to sneak them. I would've bought these if you wanted to try them."

Alluka makes a face at him (_What about the Sugar Drops I wanted?_)and looks down at the crummy animal crackers with the same sour look. She cautiously opens the box and withdraws a foxbear, holding it up. It doesn't look much different from the usual animal crackers, just missing the frosting. An experimental sniff. Smells the same too, if not a bit duller. A bite.

_Bland!_ She sticks out her tongue. _Really bland!_ It might as well be cardboard compared to her usual food. There's no way she can finish these!

The two leave the store, Killua taking the majority of the bags as Alluka trails behind. She makes a quick detour to the nearest garbage can to dump the crackers, the dull thump catching her brother's attention. He looks back at his sister with his usual light disappointment (it never holds enough weight to actually make her feel guilty), but there's something sad tinting it this time that intensifies the longer they hold eye contact.

Alluka wonders why her brother seems so sad over some stupid animal crackers.

_(They both have the same exact eyes, you know. Open eyes that take in everything and pass nothing through a filler of morals. Blind eyes unable to see the world's cruelty for what it is. Eyes incapable of the harsh judgment Killua sees hardening strangers' eyes, his families' eyes, and even his own in the mirror. Eyes that somehow always overlook his faults and just _accept_. It's no far those eyes are all that's left._)

"Let's go," Killua mutters.

Alluka jogs after him, pulling a candy bar out of her bag to get rid of that yucky animal cracker taste.

* * *

Gon stops sharply, his worn shoes offering no traction on the smooth tile floor. He over shoots the shelves and nearly barrels headfirst into a carefully made pyramid of paper towels before he manages to stop, knocking a display of gloves to the ground in the process. He picks the gloves back up before dashing over, his eyes roam hungrily over the half-empty shelf, darting from one box to another. When he doesn't see them, he pushes the other items out of the way and sticks his head in, sniffing experimentally.

_Frosting…salt…._ He sneezes, disturbing a fine cloud of crumbs and dust bunnies. _Ugh. D____ust______…_cinnamon…bread…stale bread…I don't smell it. Another half-hearted sniff. _It's not here!_

Gon sighs, deflating slightly as he withdraws from the shelf. Those animal crackers are his favorite! The first time in months he actually goes to the grocery store and they don't have his favorite crackers _or_ chips. Today is just not his day.

_They were probably here earlier when Ging came,_ he sulks, heading for the check out. Three separate reminders and his dad still forgot his animal crackers (and about a dozen other things). Killua never forgets a thing, especially Gon's crackers or his own chocolate snacks.

Er...Killua never forgot a thing.

Ging rarely gets his supplies at a store, and when he does, he swears up and down he doesn't need a list. Anything they need he'll remember. If he forgets it, it probably wasn't important in the first place. In the end, it took him four trips to get most of the stuff they needed. Then he just sent Gon with a list while he took a detour into the pet store next door.

The girl who checks him out—a bored teenager who talks to Gon like he's three— does a slight double take at Gon's odd choice of groceries. Rope, a pencil, plaster, sour cream and onion chips, a frog key chain, mace, paprika…

_Why does Ging need half this stuff?_ he wonders, fishing exact change out of his pocket.

Gon politely thanks her, grabbing his groceries and quickly heading towards the door. He pauses once he's outside, pulling the chocolate out of his bag a looking at it curiously. Gon doesn't even know if he likes these; Killua's the only one that eats them. He's never let Gon have a taste.

_You have your stuff and I have mine,_ he'd say around a mouthful. Gon found himself wiping chocolate spit debris off his checks more than one when Killua had his chocolate. _I don't ask for your crackers._

The box seems kinda obnoxious now that Gon gets a look at it, all bright colors and fancy swirly font he can't even read. It's wrapped in the most impenetrable plastic Gon's ever encountered, and he has to chew on it for several minutes just to get a tiny tear to force open. Killua had just been able to use his nails.

He holds one of the chocolates up. It doesn't look much different from the free samples hotels hand out in the lobby despite costing three times as much. An experimental sniff. Smells the same too, if not a tad bit richer. This one has a hint of...caramel? A bite.

_Sweet!_ He sticks out his tongue. _Really sweet!_ He might as well have swallowed sugar. There's no way he can finish these!

"Gon!" Ging's waving him over, impatience lining his body. "Let's go!"

(_It's kinda familiar actually. The childish pout, the tension lying underneath the relaxed front, the discomfort in such a mundane place. They both do the same shifty eye thing too, never making eye contact for more than a moment, always hiding something under the surface just far enough to make him burn with curiosity._)

Gon hovers over the garbage, considering, when he catches sight of the nearly full box of animal crackers inside. He sighs and tucks the chocolate in the plastic bag. No use wasting food.

(_They both like sweets.)_

Gon jogs over, pulling a small, cheap bag of chips out to get rid of that yucky fancy chocolate taste.


End file.
